5 years ago today... it happened. 

I finally got engaged.

I say finally for two reasons. #1: Since I was a little girl I couldn't wait to be married and now that was actually happening. #2: I had been waiting all week (and months) for him to pop the question. Here's how the story goes.

May 2007

A group of 4 guys move into my ward. They caught my attention.

I bore my testimony in church and Cameron said to Rick, 

"You should date that girl."

That night I figured I would introduce myself and showed up on their door step. Spent over an hour talking with Cameron, Rick popped into the room and silently watched as Cameron and I chatted. Then he and Barney played "Nothing Else Matters" on the guitar and cello. Impressive.

That month a couple of them started hanging out with my group of friends...mostly playing volleyball. One day we were going to a movie and I invited Rick to join us. He only came for the dinner part and I was bummed he didn't stay longer. Guess I must have had some feelings for him. For the next couple weeks we starting hanging out more and quickly became a couple.

One night my family was going to Boondocks and I took Rick with me. As we spent time with my family I felt he fit right in. I thought we would get married. It just felt good.

May - August 2007

We dated and I wanted to spend every waking moment with Rick. He was leaving for Med School in August and I was ready to move things forward, even though we had only known each other for 2 months. He liked me, but wasn't sure he wanted to spend every waking minute with me. We definitely had our differences! And those difference didn't make it easy. Actually...they caused a break up. Yup! 3 weeks before leaving Rick broke up with me. It was weird because I had felt great about marrying the guy, but when we broke up I was doing just fine. If he didn't want me, I didn't want him! I moved forward and that was that. I was actually surprised at how happy and fine I was.

3 weeks later the real drama started. The day before he was to leave, he knocked on my door. He told me what he was feeling and basically, he missed me and thought he wanted me back. One problem, he was moving across the country. Our conversation wasn't super long and I was left on edge. Did he want me to be his girlfriend? Did he want to marry me? What did I want? I had felt good about marrying him, felt good about moving forward without him and I was going crazy. And that was my answer. I wouldn't have been going crazy inside if I didn't still have feelings for him. I definitely still cared about him, wanted him to be happy and was sad he would be moving across the country, alone, and I wouldn't be able to be there for him. Anyways - the next few days were insane (emotionally). All the ups and downs hit. I was excited he was calling me and talking to me for hours everyday (he is NOT a talker.) I was mad he came back but still wasn't sure what he wanted. I was excited he was wanting to be back, I was hopeful this was it. But was I? I just had no idea what I was really feeling and it was a crazy few days. I finally told him that I needed to see him if this was going to work. He said he was planning to come visit over Labor Day weekend. That made me excited. So for the month of August we talked everyday and started dating again...via Skype.

September-November 2007

Labor day weekend arrived and I was SO excited to see Rick. I wondered what it would be like though, seeing as last time we were together we weren't 'together.' This time our first kiss came after a few hours, rather than a few weeks...and yes, it was good. It didn't take long at all to feel right back in place. And by the end of the week it was like we had never broken up. We actually even talked about possible months to get married, seeing as I was about to graduate and he was in school with almost no flexibility. So here we went again! The next couple months we had plenty of dates on Skype and enjoyed being creative in how to do more than just talk, since we were now dating long distance. We played a lot of games of Yahtzee and Zilch by web cam. Once again I was ready to get married...but he wasn't quite there. There were the normal ups and downs of a relationship and we had a good time. Nothing about this relationship was easy or convenient...yet it all felt so natural and easy to me. I was able to visit him in October...and of course, hoped for a ring. I was pretty certain that is where I wanted to go. And after our visit in October, I knew it's where I wanted to go. As I sat on the plane flying home, I remember feeling like I was leaving home behind because Rick was now my home. I wrote:

"The weekend was so awesome. I truly feel like a couple. I feel like part of each of us is missing, being apart. It's crazy, right now I want to get up and dance and lay down and cry all at the same time! I am so happy and grateful for all I have - I am so grateful for this amazing opportunity to love and be loved."

I guess you could say I was ready. Ready to be engaged, ready to be married. Ready to be with him.

Thanksgiving rolled around and Rick was coming to visit. We had talked about getting engaged and we knew it would take place while he was in town. The day after he came in we went ring shopping. I narrowed it down to 2 and let him make the decision. We left the store and I didn't know which he was getting (though I had a pretty good idea) and when he would pick it up. The week went by and nothing had happened. He was flying out Sunday morning and I was getting a little anxious. And honestly, kinda frustrated he hadn't popped the question so we could be an engaged couple while he was here. But I trusted he would ask, even if it was as he walked onto his plane. Saturday morning came and I got a call from his cell phone at 6am. He had just thrown up. I thought, "This must be the day." All day long he didn't feel well. We went to a BYU Football Game and gave a walk through of the apartment I was trying to sell and actually even went to the studio for a photo shoot I was working on. I eventually wondered if it was going to happen. Finally, at about 11pm he asked if we could head back to Salt Lake, since we were in Provo, and we were staying with my parents in Salt Lake. I wrapped it up and we headed out. Earlier that day he had realized he had his brother's keys by accident (from when we had visited) and we had decided on our way home from Provo we would drop them off. So around 11:30pm I was sitting in his brothers driveway, ringless, as he ran in to drop off the keys and say goodbye. As we got closer to my house he asked if we could stop somewhere...a place I had told him before was a place I always went to be alone and just think. And of course, I knew why. So we got to this beautiful overlook of the Salt Lake Valley and he popped in a CD and asked me to dance. So we looked over the valley and danced to a beautiful and special song. The song ended and he got down on his knee. And finally, he asked me to marry him. I don't actually remember what I said, probably something like "Yes!" and "Finally!" and excitedly let him put on the ring. And yes, it was the one I wanted most. It was just after midnight as we got to my parents house and I ran in to find my mom reading on the couch. I showed her the ring and my dad came out to join the commotion and I called my sisters. We were all so excited. First thing in the morning I took Rick to the airport. Though I was sad to have him go, it felt different knowing we would only have to say Goodbye a few more times.

I must say, for all the waiting I did, it has definitely been worth the wait.

I love Rick with all my heart and soul and life and energy. I didn't realize then what an amazing man he is. He is strong and loyal and patient and loving and so different than me, in so many wonderful ways. I am extremely grateful for so many things that he is or does, but in the past few months I have gained so much appreciation and admiration for his desire and ability to work. Not only does he work hard and long to provide for our family, but he comes home and works hard and long to be a good husband and father. And he most certainly is. He has not only loved me and been my companion and friend, but he has given me the chance to live my greatest dream, to be a wife and mother.

I'm glad we met, dated, broke up, got back together...and finally got engaged so we could start our life together!

Just Engaged - November 2007