I recently experienced one of the most  

personal spiritual moments of my life.

I have felt the spirit all throughout my life. It has never really been a big bang type of an experience. I haven't seen a vision, I haven't heard a voice. But I have felt the strong, undeniable prickling of the spirit day after day, night after night and come to know for myself who I am, who God is and how much love He has for us all.

But this time it was a little different. 

It was stronger than I remember it ever being before.

In recent times I have faced some personal struggles that have pushed me and stretched me and given me much reason to analyze my life, who I am and the person I want to be. At times I have felt hurt, at times I have felt numb and other times I have felt perfectly fine. I have thought and thought and thought. I have prayed. I have fasted. I have studied and prayed some more. I have wondered which direction to go and if there were changes I needed to make. I honestly was not sure what direction to go. The only thing I was certain about was I wanted to follow God's will.

Sunday morning we had Stake Conference. It was a broadcast from Salt Lake in which we were privileged to hear from our leaders. All the talks were wonderful, but one particular speaker reached inside my soul. There have been so many times in life when I've heard someone speak and knew it was exactly what I needed to hear. But this was different. It was deeper. I didn't feel like it was just exactly what I needed to hear...but it was everything I needed to hear. Everything I needed to feel. I felt like I was the only person in the room and he was speaking directly to me. Every point he touched on was part of the direction I was so hoping to find. I couldn't get enough. As he kept talking I kept listening. I kept thinking and feeling. Every word he said seemed to burn within me deeper and deeper, stronger and stronger. I felt so alive, so warm, so full. I didn't just feel the answer or the direction I needed to go. I felt God. I felt His presence around me. I heard his voice telling me, 'You are okay. You don't need to change. You are wonderful just the way you are.' I don't know that I had ever felt Him speaking so personally to me, to what I was facing and what I was experiencing. As the speaker finished and the song began I couldn't sing a single word. Tears streamed down my face as my body was filled with an overwhelming sense of God's presence and peace. I followed along as the audience kept singing. We came to the words, 

"Fear not, I am with me; oh, be not dismayed, 

for I am thy God and will still give thee aid."

Once again the spirit burned within me. A powerful fire of peace and comfort, of understanding and love. I had always known God loved me, knew me and was always by my side. But at this moment, I knew with a deeper understanding than ever before that God truly knew everything inside my mind. Everything inside my heart. Everything big and everything small. The frustration, the confusion, the hurt. The desire to do right. The desire to be better. The hope and the faith in following His will. He knew it all. 

And I knew that He knew it. 

He knows me. He loves me. He completely understands me.

I felt it. I KNOW IT. I will never forget it.

There are so many people in this world that I love.

Thank you for being a part of me!

With Valentine's coming up I have had sweets on my mind! 

I love candy. I love snacks and treats. I am not good at baking stuff or making it look all cute. But there are a few simple snacks I can make that I 

REALLY, REALLY enjoy eating.

Just wanted to share.

Cream Cheese Cinnamon Dip

 

 It's as simple as that. 

Mix 1 cup of Cream Cheese Frosting with 1/2 tsp of Cinnamon.

Slice Apples.

Dip and Enjoy!

I use Pillsbury Creamy Supreme Cream Cheese and Fuji Apples.

For anyone who has ever had the Apple Pie Caramel Apples from The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, this tastes very similar to that. 

So yes, it's amazing!

I'm sure there are other things you can find to dip in it as well. I have tried Graham Crackers and Brownies...but Apples are my favorite!

Chocolate Pretzel Bites

(Thanks to my sister who introduced me to these. Not sure the real name of them, but figured this name made sense.)

Place Snaps Pretzels (the square kind) on parchment paper on a cookie sheet.

Put Hugs or Kisses on pretzels.

Bake in oven for about 6 minutes at 170 degrees.

Hugs melt faster than kisses, so a little less time for them.

Remove from oven.

Quickly drop an M&M on top of the chocolate and gently push down.

Let set. (doesn't take long)

You can store these on the counter or in the fridge, depending on how hot your house is.

The kind I have pictured were for Christmas, but you can use them for just about any holiday or event by using different colored M&M's.

Sweet Potato Fries

(I LOVE Sweet Potatoes. If you don't, you may not like these!)
My favorite part is that my daughter likes them so it gets a vegetable in her.

Note: Larger, Rounder, Darker Sweet Potatoes have a higher amount of beta carotene. Plus, I think they normally taste better!

Slice Sweet Potatoes, with or without peel, into sticks or wedges.
(the peel contains a lot of of the fiber and vitamins)

Make sure they are similar in size.
Place them in a bowl.
Drizzle some Canola Oil or Light Vegetable Oil over slices.
Mix around in bowl.
Drizzle some of the Oil on a cookie sheet and place it in the oven while preheating to 450F.
Once pre-heated, take the pan out & spread the slices evenly across the pan.
Bake for about 20 minutes, depending on how thick you sliced them.
MAKE SURE TO STIR/ROTATE the fries once or twice while they bake.
Sprinkle with coarse salt and enjoy!
We normally dip them in honey... but I just ran across these dips that I think would be fun to try. Let me know if you try them and which ones you recommend!

Moving away from home, from my family, has taught me a lot of things. 

But one specific lesson has really impacted my life. 

I have heard others talk about God's power and His Peace in their lives. It always makes me happy to know that they are feeling the power of His Peace. I remember reading John 14:27 as a teenager... 

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

What stood out to me were these words: 

"MY" and "NOT AS THE WORLD GIVETH."

This told me that peace comes from God and no where else. This told me that He has something to offer that nothing and nobody in this world ever can. I believed it. I knew it. But each year of my life I am understanding it more fully.

Moving away from my family has really put this principle into practice. When hard times hit and people I love are hurting, I just want to run home. Well, fly home. I want to rush there and be by their side and make everything okay. But I can't. And because I can't, I turn to someone who can. (More fully than I did before.) I realize more than ever that God is the one that can offer peace. Not me. Not anything I have to offer. But Him. It is HIS peace that can calm their storms or give them the strength to get through it. It is HIS peace that can bless their lives and really make everything okay. The best I can do is pray that they will feel it and hope they feel it fast. So even though it hurts and I want so badly to help, I receive another little flame of testimony that God is over all. That He is the Father of us all. That He loves us all. And He is the one with Peace.

I have felt this peace over and over in my own life. One of my friends recently posted on her blog about this same type of peace. For her, it was a peace that came with pregnancy after experiencing a miscarriage with a pregnancy before. For me, it comes in not being able to get pregnant at times when I want to so badly. I have felt it when facing big decisions or challenges, physical pain or loss or fear. I have felt it most everyday of my life and know it is the greatest strength we will ever find.

 God's peace is nothing like anything in this world. Mortally, we can't find that kind of peace. God's is a peace that pushes through all pain and fear and confusion and understanding. It enriches our souls in a way this world can't. It is a peace that, regardless of what is going on around us or within us, gives us strength to just keep going.

It protects us. It strengthens us. It makes everything okay and even makes us happy in times we wouldn't think possible.

I'm grateful for a God who offers peace to ALL. 

I'm grateful He is there to help the ones I love.

Today I weeded my yard. Not the flower beds or walkways... the grass.
This is not normal for me. I grew up in Utah and winter was a time of snow blowing and shoveling, not weeding and mowing. And never have I needed to weed my grass until last fall when the grapevines appeared.

But if you could see my yard, you would know it needed to be weeded. It was bad enough that a man even stopped by (while I was out working) and gave me his card offering is yard services. He pointed to the weeds I was pulling and said, "I have a big mower. All these weeds....it KILL them!" I shook his hand and thanked him for his offer and went on my way. My daughter helped by walking around the weeds pulling up a strand at a time and saying, "Tree! Tree!" I just chuckled and said, "Yes. It looks like a tree."

After hours of pulling, sunburn and mosquito bites, I finally came to my last big weed. It was a few feet wide and a foot or two long. It was weaving in and out of the grass and I knew it would be the toughest pull yet. I searched for the biggest root, wrapped my fingers tight around it and started to pull. It wouldn't budge. For the next few minutes I tried different ways to tug and pull. It was no good. I got on both knees, gathered the bush into my chest, wrapped both hands around the base and pulled. Nothing. I started digging through the grass pulling out small chunks. After several small chunks were out of the way, I gathered the large base in my hands. If only my hands were double in size and my muscles were triple in strength.

I gave it my best shot and out came a clump of roots. I did this 3 more times and eventually all 4 clumps of roots were out. I had done it. I stood overlooking my yard and the giant pile of weeds. No passerby would even notice. No visiting friends or even my husband would probably think my yard looked good. Because it doesn't. The grass is dead just like it should be in the middle of winter. But it looked good to me. More importantly, it felt good. 

So is life. We all have weeds. Challenges, heartache, weakness, sin. All these things that create a garden of weeds that need to be pulled. Some are easy to see, some are too small to notice. And when we pull them out, nobody but us may notice the difference. Nobody else knows how hard we had to pull. And nobody, but us, reaps the rewards of the pulling that we had to do.

We see the difference. We become stronger. We feel more beautiful. 

It doesn't matter if anyone notices, because we feel good.

This week we visited Hermann Park. 

3 Times. 

Each time was a very wonderful and different experience. (If you live in the area, definitely give it a visit!) The first time we went was just after the sun went down. It turned dark quickly and was quiet and empty. There were runners here and there, but mostly just wind, some bats and a big open sky. We wandered around the reflection pool and monuments and fed a couple ducks. I was excited to come back and further explore the area.

The next time we went it was late afternoon on Saturday. There were hundreds of people. Families having bar-b-ques, couples enjoying picnics, guys playing football, boys playing soccer, girls working a jump rope and a man at the snack stand selling goodies and snow cones. There was even a small group of teenagers playing drums and instruments giving us all a beat to bounce to. We enjoyed wandering through the crowd, along the water, feeding the ducks and watching airplanes fly above. It was warm, alive, full of excitement and entertainment. 

Today we went again. It was fresh and early and not many people were around. The clouds gave a perfect covering as we wandered through the trees and grass. We played on the swings while watching squirrels play tag and capture the acorn. We sat by the lake and gathered the birds by throwing out cereal and crackers. Ducks quacked around us and pigeons soon joined the excitement. Within minutes we were surrounded by our feathered friends. We fed them. They entertained us. We all got along. Every few minutes the air would fill with chaotic squeals and chirps and the birds would take off flying circles around us. After two complete rounds they would return. Pecking the ground for edible treasures. It was beautiful and quiet, like a bubble of peace.

I couldn't stop thinking about this thing we call TIME. I had been in the same place and had 3 different experiences. Because of TIME each experience was different. TIME brought the separation of crowds and emptiness, dark and light, chaos and peace. The same exact place became a whole different world because TIME had passed and things had changed.

It reminded me of being a teenager and visiting the Sacred Grove. There I stood in the midst of giant trees and sunlight beaming through the leaves. It held a beautiful and sacred feeling. My experience was that of thoughts and remembering and honoring what had taken place. Yet, this same exact place, maybe even the same exact spot I was standing, was where the sacred beginnings of the restoration had taken place. Joseph Smith had been right there. He had seen a vision and his life had changed forever. Our world had changed forever. What if I had been standing there that spring morning in 1820? 

It was only TIME that separated me from that moment.

I have felt this separation of TIME on many occasions, especially when life changing experiences take place. I remember touring the hospital where my baby would be born. A hospital. A place I don't like to be. Bare walls filled with nurses, doctors, sicknesses and pain. In TIME, those same walls became barriers between the outside world and the sacred spot where my daughter began her new life. My own sacred grove I now cherished and loved. TIME had turned that hospital into my sacred ground where life had changed forever.

TIME. 

It's such an interesting thing. It moves slow, it moves fast...but it never ever stops. It separates me from the past and the future. 

It holds everything I have right here and right now. 

I often wonder what TIME will bring. But only TIME will tell.

Hermann Park Reflection Pool

I had an interesting experience today.

My daughter and I had gone to the mall for two reasons. To enjoy a free pretzel and to play on the kid tow truck that she thinks is a bus. (All yellow vehicles are a bus.) I especially enjoyed that there was absolutely nobody around. The sun was shining, it was quiet and breezy and we enjoyed our own little playground. 

Suddenly a loud pop broke the air and a large store window 20 feet to my side shattered. My body froze as my head shot around scanning the area for people. There was no one. Silence. Was that a gun shot? Did somebody just shoot the window? Did the window just randomly pop? Thoughts were racing through my head. I grabbed my daughter and was uncertain if I should move or hold still. I gave the window a good hard look and found a hole at the top, right along the frame, and all 6 or so feet of glass cracked and shattered. Again, I scanned the area and nobody was in sight. I didn't feel I was in danger. It must have been a random break. Is that possible? Glass just randomly shatters? I went around the corner and peered in the store. Everything looked normal. Two workers stocking the racks and nobody in a panic. It must have been a random break. But what was the pop? I went into the store and told the guy his window had shattered. He said, "I heard that pop and wondered what it was." And walked to the window display, opened the door and peered in. He cautiously walked by the mannequins and got a closer look. He then thanked me and called to the other worker. He didn't seem surprised. I left the store and walked the other direction. I felt weird. I honestly don't believe someone shot at the window. I also don't know why it would randomly shatter. But I was happy to be walking away, no big scene, no one hurt and nobody in a panic. I felt grateful that if it was a shot, it didn't hit my daughter or me or any other person. 

Within the hour they had taped off the area and were replacing the window. As I watched from a distance I thought about the many people that have suffered from recent shootings. So many random places, so many innocent people. It's amazing the change one moment can bring. 

I am grateful today for my chance to live. To have my chance at this earthly experience. I will probably never know what really happened, but I received a bold reminder of how precious life is and how much I truly cherish it.

My daughter has been sick off and on since Christmas. It started with the stomach stuff, then the fever stuff, a hefty cold and now double ear infections. Then came the twist, her reaction to the antibiotic. As the mom, I feel responsible for doing everything in my power to help her get better as fast as possible. We have been to the doctor, on the phone with the doctor, on the phone with nurses and to the pharmacy several times. By tonight, I felt pretty helpless. Over the past few days I have been working over the phone with nurses to figure out how to best treat my daughters reaction. For the most part, I was left confused. I didn't totally trust the route they wanted to go and was left with a couple options. So I gave the over-the-counter meds a shot because I figured they would be a lot less expensive. By this afternoon the reaction was spreading and only getting worse. I knew something wasn't right. I knew what I tried wasn't working. I called the pharmacist and asked about the prescription and she told me to check with my doctor before picking it up. She wanted me to make sure this was the medication they really wanted to give her because she had never heard of using it in the way it had been prescribed. This only added to my concern. I couldn't get a hold of the doctor and figured I would head to the pharmacy while I was on hold. I couldn't let this go one more night. As soon as I parked the receptionist answered and listened to my concern. She took notes and told me the nurse would call back within 30 minutes. I hung up and my phone battery beeped, 'Battery Low.' This normally happens once...maybe twice before it shuts off. So there I was, waiting at the pharmacy, praying my battery wouldn't die. Over the next 2 hours it was back and forth between the pharmacist who was really concerned about giving my daughter the medication and the nurse who was trying to get a hold of the doctor who seemed frustrated I was concerned at all and my daughter who was uncomfortable and hungry. I felt like a terrible mom. Why had I waited? Why hadn't I just forked out the money and listened to the nurse? Why couldn't I feel okay about what they wanted to give her? Why was it spreading and why couldn't anyone give me an explanation of what was going on? Why did we all seemed concerned except the nurse? It was finally confirmed by the doctor that this was best to do and I headed back to the register to complete my purchase. I swiped my card and hoped it wouldn't be too expensive.

"Four dollars." The lady behind the registered stated. 

"What?" I thought. "Is she kidding me? Did she get the right prescription? Is that really what she said?" 

I moved closer to look at the total. $4. Right there on the screen. $4. I have NEVER in my life paid so little for a prescription. It had to be a joke. I actually chuckled to myself and gratefully signed the pad and breathed a sigh of relief. All the other prescriptions had been so expensive. But today, just $4. I felt like God was tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "I got your back." I hurried out of the store and called my husband while walking to the car. 30 seconds into our conversation my phone died. Normally that would frustrate me, but not tonight. I realized my phone had beeped 8-10 times warning me it was going to shut off. But it never did. I was able to wait and call and wait and call and it lasted the whole 2 hours. Once again, I felt that tap on my shoulder, "I got your back."

We headed for home. All my emotions seemed to push through my skin. I felt sad for my daughters discomfort. I felt small for not making it better. But more than anything, I felt grateful that I wasn't alone. I felt blessed for a $4 bill and a battery that didn't die. I knew these were my own little miracles. The kind I so often miss. As I pulled my daughter out of the car I held her tight against my face and gave her a gentle squeeze. 

"I love you so much." I said.

"I you too" she replied. "I you too." "I you too." "I you too."

She repeated it all the way into the house. It's like she knew I needed to hear it. Then I realized, she didn't think I was a terrible mom. She didn't hold it against me that I couldn't make it better. She just loved me and once again, 

everything was okay.

To my sweet daughter...

I hope this medicine works.

One Person.

I got to spend this weekend with my husband. I couldn't believe the difference it made. I haven't seen him much lately, due to work, but he came home Friday night and we got to spend the rest of the weekend as a family. There was one particular moment when he went chasing our daughter into the back room that I laid on the couch and felt... whole. 

It's amazing how we humans adapt. We adapt to weather, to sickness, to people, to situations and to life. 

We learn how to deal with, we learn how to deal without. 

In this moment I realized how much I had adapted. When he isn't around, I carry on. I am happy and busy and life is good. I miss him, but we are working together no matter how far apart we are. But having him home, having him there, I realized how complete my world is because he is in it. I was reminded of how very important this one person is to me. The warmth, the comfort, the security that simply comes from being in his presence. 

The depth he adds to my life. To our life.

It's amazing how one person can make such a difference.

Among the billions of people that will ever exist, one person really does matter.

Every one person really does matter.

I still remember my first Migraine.

It was awful. All migraines are awful. But the first ones were particularly awful because I had no idea why my body suddenly became so extremely sick. I worried my head might actually explode and the thoughts of sitting or talking or opening my eyes or a clock ticking actually made me wonder

if I would make it.

I was in the 8th grade and as always, I walked outside for a short distance to my choir class. When I came inside there was a small spot in my vision that I call a 'sun spot'. I call it this because it's the kind of spot that comes from looking at the sun or some major glare that then causes a dark, blind spot in my vision. Nothing unusual, but for some reason the spot made me feel a little weird. As I entered my class and sat down the spot was still there. My teacher started talking to us and I realized she looked weird. Within the next few minutes I became unable to see my teachers face and had this awful yellow spot in my vision, that seemed to have little streaks of light crawling all over through it. Immediately I became very sick. I didn't even ask to be excused, I got out of my chair and headed to the office. I barely made it in time to lay down. At this point, there was a lot I couldn't see. Even my hand in front of my face was mostly missing. What was happening to me? Is this what it's like to go blind? But why would going blind make me so sick? I called my oldest sister who lived nearby (because for a reason I don't remember, my mom wasn't home or in town.) When she got to the school I lost it. I started crying and felt so bad to bother her and felt so sick and didn't know if I could stand long enough to make it to the car. What happened the rest of that day is a blur to me. I remember laying on her couch and her bringing me some bread, telling me eating might help. I couldn't even open my eyes and the thought and sight and smell of the bread only made it worse. I was sicker than I think I had ever been in my life.

The next time this happened I was 4-wheeling with some family friends. I remember not feeling well but it was my turn to take a spin and when I was outside it seemed like I could see better (the spot didn't seem so strong), so I headed out. I returned before long and became so sick my family ended up leaving. (I'm not sure if it was time to go home or if I just ruined the trip.) 

I don't know at what point I learned I was having Migraines, but they didn't stop. For the next 10 or so years they would randomly strike and completely wipe me out. Normally for about 8 hours. It would start with a small spot in my vision which gave me about a 15 minute warning until I would be super, super sick. Then the nausea, vomiting, head pain and ultra sensitivity to light and sound would kick in. The sound of a clock or the hum of a fridge would pound like a hammer beating against my brain. I would be unable to do anything but curl up in a dark, silent corner that was never dark or silent enough and pray for it to pass. Then it would end with the most massive head pain I have ever experienced. It was normally in one of a few spots and depending on where it was at I couldn't lay on one side or the other or I would just lose it. Then after 8 hours I would be almost back to normal. I say almost because there was always the hangover. At least that's what I called it. For a day or two after the migraine I would still feel kinda weak and weird and my head would be a little sore. But, for the most part, I could go back to normal activity after about 8 hours. I often worried people would think I was faking sick because I would disappear and then come back fine later that day. 

But it didn't really matter. I was just surviving.

As time went on I saw different doctors and tried all sorts of things to get rid of them. Doctors basically said they have no way of explaining why a person gets migraines and there isn't much to do but try different medications. So I did. I tried everything I could think of. Then one day I was talking with my friend. She suggested taking 2 Exedrin and 2 Dramamine at the onset of the migraine. I had another friend suggest drinking coke. So I did both. This was the first relief I ever really found. I quickly learned that if I didn't take the pills immediately, they wouldn't do much good. But as I took the pills and drank some coke, I found there were times I was able to function (though still feeling awful). I found I wasn't quite so afraid of having one, because most times I could handle it and still stay at work or still go to class. 

After several years of experiencing migraines I was almost certain they were hormonal. They didn't come on from lack of sleep or foods I ate or stress...they were hormonal. I told this to my doctor and was answered with a chuckle and once again told that we don't really have any links to why people get migraines. But I knew mine were hormonal. There was still no connection to when I got them or how bad they got, but I just knew it. The older I got the more spread out they became and the less intense they were. Then one day I got a really bad one. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and for 8 months I didn't experience a single migraine. Then I went into labor, gave life to my precious daughter and the next day got a migraine. They were back. They were FAR less intense then ever before, but they were back. I am now convinced that they are hormonal. I wonder if next time I'm pregnant I will be migraine free? Either way, I am so glad that my friend gave me a suggestion and it actually helped. Thank you, Exedrin. Thank you, Dramamine. Thank you, Coke. It sounds silly, but you really changed my life! To any migraine sufferers out there, I hope you find something that lessens your pain. And if you live close to me, just call and I will take care of you or your kids when they strike.

My daughter definitely gets a few traits from me. One of those is her great amount of sensitivity (for the good and the bad). Today she displayed an extra large amount of this sensitivity when I pulled out the vacuum and headed to the front room. As soon as she saw it she burst into tears. I wasn't shocked, but it has been a while she she was afraid of the vacuum, so it did take me by surprise. I told her I just needed to clean the floor. She continued to cry. As I turned it on her cries turned into screams. I couldn't help but laugh even though I felt bad it made her so sad. I started to sing the clean up song so she would know I was just cleaning up. I sang "Clean up! Clean up! Everybody, everywhere!" and continued vacuuming. After a few seconds of singing I turned to see her reaction and found that she was taking the toys I had put by the TV, with tears streaming down her face and her body shaking from her sobs, she was putting them all away. She thought I was telling her to clean up. And even though she was scared and screaming... she was putting her toys away. It was one of those moments when your child reaches out and touches your heart, reminding you just how pure and trusting and loving they are. 

My sweet, screaming child... I love you.

Yep. It happened. I got caught in that awkward moment that I have always hoped I would never get caught in.

I guess I should say we. Not only did we get caught, we caught documented. We were flying to visit my parents for Christmas when I awoke to my husband talking with the lady sitting next to him and was quickly told by our fellow passenger that she had captured this 'funny' moment for us. She couldn't resist...mouths wide open, parents asleep, child intensely watching her video and mom using baby doll as pillow. I've always wondered what I look like asleep... 

I think I prefer to not know!

I was organizing some stuff and ran across this post I wrote a few months ago that never got posted. I figured I might as well post it. 

Today my baby fell asleep on the way home from church. When we got home I took off her little shoes and pulled her relaxed warm body out of her car seat..her eyes opened for a moment and she relaxed onto my shoulder back into her quiet world of sleep. As I carried her in I saw my reflection on our car. I am a mom. That is my baby sleeping on my shoulder. And that felt so good. I have dreamed about moments like these my whole life. And though my baby rarely (like 2 times before in her life) transfers from the car to her crib asleep..the few times it has happened remind me just how happy I am to be a mom. And just how much I love all that comes with being Mom.

If I had grown up here...

this is the room I would have wanted to be mine.

My parents are currently serving a mission and this is one of the rooms in their house. I love the window. I love that I can sit on the bed and look out the window. As long as I can remember, I have liked feeling connected. And as a kid, sitting on this bed, looking out this window, I would have felt connected. Connected to the world, connected to the people driving by, connected to the people I felt far away from. I remember several times in life when I longed to feel connected. Not because I was alone, but because something I loved had come and gone and I longed to keep it close. I remember going to EFY, a church program where I went away from home for 2 weeks and got to meet other kids my age from all across the country. As I spent every hour with them learning and serving and playing and coming to understand the gospel and myself, they became my friends. I remember my parents picking me up and driving away looking out the window, sad that I would never see them again because most of them lived too far away. They had become a part of me and I wanted to keep them close. The first while back at home I would sit on my front porch, staring at the mountains, watching the cars that past, wanting to feel connected...closer...to those dear friends I had just made. There were other times I felt this way, but the one that stands out the most was graduating from High School. Wow. What a time! I loved my High School years. Each one brought something different and I learned so much about who I was and who I wanted to be. I had many dear friends that helped me along the way, taught me, loved me and became a part of the person I am today. These relationships changed my life forever. I remember the morning after graduation. I had been at a friends house and partied most the night and came home with that weird, lack of sleep, am I real, type of feeling. So I slept. Then I woke up and didn't really know what to do with myself. Life had changed. It was time to be a grown up, go to college, work and decide what to do with myself as a single, young adult. There was a deep void inside me. A longing to make time stand still so I didn't have to move forward. I was excited for this new stage of life and to grow up and be an adult...but I didn't want to leave behind the people that meant so much to me. So I sat on my front porch. I stared at the mountains and the people driving by. I thought of my friends, the life I had been given. I thought of my childhood and teenage years and all the life I had lived. It had been awesome. And I knew it would probably only get better. Sitting on my porch somehow made me feel a part of this world and closer to the people that I loved. It gave me that connection that I always liked to have. As I sat in my parents house this morning, in the room with the bed next to the window, I felt connected. Connected to the world around me. Connected to the people I love. 

Connected to my childhood. And I felt happy.

Welcome to 2013!

It's been a wonderful Christmas season and I have enjoyed time with my family. Wouldn't it be awesome if Christmas was every 6 months? 

This is basically what we have been up to:

A lot of Smiling...

 Eating...

 and running around.

 A lot of Cousin Time...

 

 being crazy...

playing with new toys...

 and staying in our PJs.

 A lot of Celebrating Jesus...

fun times...

 and a really cool sun-star fish.

It's always sad to have the holidays come and go so quickly. But I am excited for the new year ahead and the many adventures it will bring! Thanks to my family for the fun times we shared and the memories we created. There's nothing I love more than a break from real life to be with the ones I love most!

So 2013...I wonder what that will bring.
I sure hope another baby! But most of all, I hope my family is safe and happily together. I hope I am stronger, better, kinder and more patient. I hope I will have given someone the chance to find the blessings of the gospel. I hope I will have made someone's world a better place.

What about you? What do you hope for this great year of 2013?