I still remember my first Migraine.

It was awful. All migraines are awful. But the first ones were particularly awful because I had no idea why my body suddenly became so extremely sick. I worried my head might actually explode and the thoughts of sitting or talking or opening my eyes or a clock ticking actually made me wonder

if I would make it.

I was in the 8th grade and as always, I walked outside for a short distance to my choir class. When I came inside there was a small spot in my vision that I call a 'sun spot'. I call it this because it's the kind of spot that comes from looking at the sun or some major glare that then causes a dark, blind spot in my vision. Nothing unusual, but for some reason the spot made me feel a little weird. As I entered my class and sat down the spot was still there. My teacher started talking to us and I realized she looked weird. Within the next few minutes I became unable to see my teachers face and had this awful yellow spot in my vision, that seemed to have little streaks of light crawling all over through it. Immediately I became very sick. I didn't even ask to be excused, I got out of my chair and headed to the office. I barely made it in time to lay down. At this point, there was a lot I couldn't see. Even my hand in front of my face was mostly missing. What was happening to me? Is this what it's like to go blind? But why would going blind make me so sick? I called my oldest sister who lived nearby (because for a reason I don't remember, my mom wasn't home or in town.) When she got to the school I lost it. I started crying and felt so bad to bother her and felt so sick and didn't know if I could stand long enough to make it to the car. What happened the rest of that day is a blur to me. I remember laying on her couch and her bringing me some bread, telling me eating might help. I couldn't even open my eyes and the thought and sight and smell of the bread only made it worse. I was sicker than I think I had ever been in my life.

The next time this happened I was 4-wheeling with some family friends. I remember not feeling well but it was my turn to take a spin and when I was outside it seemed like I could see better (the spot didn't seem so strong), so I headed out. I returned before long and became so sick my family ended up leaving. (I'm not sure if it was time to go home or if I just ruined the trip.) 

I don't know at what point I learned I was having Migraines, but they didn't stop. For the next 10 or so years they would randomly strike and completely wipe me out. Normally for about 8 hours. It would start with a small spot in my vision which gave me about a 15 minute warning until I would be super, super sick. Then the nausea, vomiting, head pain and ultra sensitivity to light and sound would kick in. The sound of a clock or the hum of a fridge would pound like a hammer beating against my brain. I would be unable to do anything but curl up in a dark, silent corner that was never dark or silent enough and pray for it to pass. Then it would end with the most massive head pain I have ever experienced. It was normally in one of a few spots and depending on where it was at I couldn't lay on one side or the other or I would just lose it. Then after 8 hours I would be almost back to normal. I say almost because there was always the hangover. At least that's what I called it. For a day or two after the migraine I would still feel kinda weak and weird and my head would be a little sore. But, for the most part, I could go back to normal activity after about 8 hours. I often worried people would think I was faking sick because I would disappear and then come back fine later that day. 

But it didn't really matter. I was just surviving.

As time went on I saw different doctors and tried all sorts of things to get rid of them. Doctors basically said they have no way of explaining why a person gets migraines and there isn't much to do but try different medications. So I did. I tried everything I could think of. Then one day I was talking with my friend. She suggested taking 2 Exedrin and 2 Dramamine at the onset of the migraine. I had another friend suggest drinking coke. So I did both. This was the first relief I ever really found. I quickly learned that if I didn't take the pills immediately, they wouldn't do much good. But as I took the pills and drank some coke, I found there were times I was able to function (though still feeling awful). I found I wasn't quite so afraid of having one, because most times I could handle it and still stay at work or still go to class. 

After several years of experiencing migraines I was almost certain they were hormonal. They didn't come on from lack of sleep or foods I ate or stress...they were hormonal. I told this to my doctor and was answered with a chuckle and once again told that we don't really have any links to why people get migraines. But I knew mine were hormonal. There was still no connection to when I got them or how bad they got, but I just knew it. The older I got the more spread out they became and the less intense they were. Then one day I got a really bad one. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant and for 8 months I didn't experience a single migraine. Then I went into labor, gave life to my precious daughter and the next day got a migraine. They were back. They were FAR less intense then ever before, but they were back. I am now convinced that they are hormonal. I wonder if next time I'm pregnant I will be migraine free? Either way, I am so glad that my friend gave me a suggestion and it actually helped. Thank you, Exedrin. Thank you, Dramamine. Thank you, Coke. It sounds silly, but you really changed my life! To any migraine sufferers out there, I hope you find something that lessens your pain. And if you live close to me, just call and I will take care of you or your kids when they strike.