Wow! I guess it's been awhile. Just livin' life and lovin' it!

I have had a lot of thoughts lately...surprise, surprise. I have been thinking about a lot of things. I've been thinking about all the wonderful people in this world and how we are all eternally connected. I've been thinking about myself, who I am, who I want to be, why I am the way I am, why any of us are the way we are. It's amazing, really. Life. The World. People.

Each day I face this chance:

Let my weaknesses get to me

or do something to change them.

I wish I could say that most days I do something to change them. But I would bet that most days I don't even take the time to recognize them and when I do, I easily push them aside.

Today I recognized them. At least one of them. 

A small situation in which I stepped back from and realized I am so not the person I want to be. I was hurt. I was frustrated. I felt like giving up on getting any better. Then I stopped. I just sat and let myself feel what I needed to feel. I let the thoughts I needed to think be thought. Then I said a prayer that God would help me let go. Because I knew I couldn't. I have tried for a lot of years and sometimes I just can't let go. That's part of the human me. 

It's a part of me I wish I could change.

I clearly remember a time my dad was speaking in church. He said, 

"If you think you can do it...you can't." He paused. 

I knew what was coming next. He continued, "But God can."

I knew it was true. I had felt it in my life. I knew without God I didn't have much chance of becoming anywhere near the person I wanted to be.

I have had the chance many times in my life to be reminded of just how true that is. Today was one of those days. As I sat at my kitchen table hurt and frustration swarming around me, I turned to that thought. I allowed it to settle in. I allowed thoughts and stories and memories of times I had come to know it slowly push away my feelings. Slowly change my thoughts. 

And slowly, I let go.

I actually felt my heart soften. I felt my desires change. I felt strength. A strength I knew was not my own. A strength I wish I turned to more often. A strength that reminds me there is hope. I can't change. But God can change me. 

I just need to learn to not get in His way.

On a side note:

The weeds in my yard are now producing flowers.

 They sure make a great toy!